Back, and it feels so good

I'm back at Woo!!! I'm really happy to be back, but the first couple of days were kind of awkward with Gordon. I'm not sure why, but we just kind of fell out of the relationship loop. Needless to say, we got right back into the flow. We went shopping at Southpark and Gordon bought a nice jacket, and an awesome flannel :) Then we went and saw Sherlock Holmes (I love Jude Law!), and exchanged Christmas presents finally! He got me a jasmine candle, House season 4 (love!), a really pretty watch, and surprised me and himself with a dainty little mother of pearl ring. I was contento <3

Classes have been going pretty well. I learned that my Spanish class is a writing intensive class, so that's three of those under my belt, but whatever. I like taking Spanish classes. I just hate group work! I never used to mind it, but it's just awkward and not really fun. Quant started off pretty well, hopefully I'll do well in the class because apparently it's not very easy. Geology of Natural Hazards has been going kind of slowly, but it should pick up. I start clinic with a client next week! Yay! G.K. are the initials. I'm going to go read the file today and see what I'm in for! Band is going okay. Some of the songs are pretty difficult for me. Maybe I should start practicing...

Let's Dance has been going slowly. Aaron gave Gordon a metaphorical stern kick to the shin last night. It was a telling to that was building up and needed to come out eventually. I mean, other people had been noticing exactly what Aaron had said, so I guess everyone was seeing it but me. I'm going to try to help Gordon as much as possible, but not to the point where he's "not doing anything". I'm going to maybe add "Let's Dance Secretary" onto my resume haha. I just want everything to work out for everybody. It's hard to lead a group with busy schedules. Tango lessons are hopefully going to be starting soon. I also need to hang up our swing lessons sign and maybe look for some new moves.

I've come down with some sort of cold. It needs to go away now.

We're going to see Bron in "Songs for a New World" this weekend. Me thinks it will be good :)

I'll add more later if need be. Off to do actual work.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, F*%k you, whore.

I am VERY VERY distraught. So distraught that I am legit on the verge of tears, and this isn't even my problem. Katie and James are going through this shit hole of a battle with each other. I don't even know what else to call it because thats all that it really is. I'm not going to explain the whole thing because that would take hours. All I have to say is that I gave my advice, and my opinion, and I just want Katie to be happy.

I am against the whole getting back with James, because last time she was eventually miserable. I know that they have an undying affection for each other, but if you're going to be miserable, why do it? I don't think it would be much different this time either. They both have the exact same personalities as they did before, and as an outside viewer, I don't think they mesh well, at all. She's too independent, he's too clingy. He demands what she can't always provide.

Don't get me wrong, they were happy together, but I also heard a lot of complaining, from both sides mind you. I think it's hard for a couple that was together for that long, and with feelings like that, to completely see the bad side of what was going on. We just watched "500 Days of Summer" and the main characters sister even said that when he's looking back at the memories, all he's seeing is the good, and he should look again because there are bad ones being overshadowed by the good, which is bound to happen in the human mind.

My advice from the break up was to cut off connections and not talk to each other for a few months. I think it lasted a few weeks, but it was never quite completely detatched. I think this is what hurt them the most. James moved on to another girl, but he never actually moved on. Same with Katie, minus moving on to another girl.

Now, I've been blamed for the break up, I've been blamed for this shit hole, and I can say I understand why it seems that way. When I see my best friend going through a problem, I'm going to find the easiest way out. The easiest way, both times, was to cut off James, be it break up with him, or not get back with him. It seemed logical. It may seem like I'm being selfish and making this my fight because he called me a bitch, but I'm putting Katie first in this, completely. I don't really hold grudges very long, and I let shit blow over. It's how I deal. Confrontation is not big for me. Apparently I'm going to have to put up with confrontation tomorrow though, as it seems James wants to talk, or Katie wants us to anyway.

I just hope he listens because I have a lot to say.

I wish I was better at expressing everything that I feel, in a creative, English major sort of way. I could go on about this for a while, but I'm just tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I'll probably write more once it's over with. I won't have closure until there is an ending, no matter which it is. I'll be happy either way.

In the end, the friend consensus on Katie's side= No Go (or so I hear)

New Year, no beer...

Here are my new years resolutions. Goodbye 2009, hello 2010. Now I can say "Twenty ten". Woo! I'll probably add more once the events of the night have passed.


*Drink More Water- Absolutely essential to my well being. Legit.

*Zumba!- I bought the DVD, might as well utilize it, plus it's a fun way to stay in shape.

*Work out at the PEC at least once a week- Or something.

*Be able to touch my toes!- I really want to be flexible so I can do dance moves that are more difficult. Plus it sucks being the only one who can't touch their toes in the room. To do this I'll need to stretch every day. I've already started.

*Have BFF talks- These don't always happen, just she and I. They need to, I think it will help with her resolution, and it will make us stronger :)

*Stop biting my nails- This has been my resolution for like the past four years. I'm trying really hard, I swear.

*Save up money- I'm pretty good at saving money, but this year I'll need to ration it out for things like gas and car insurance.

I might add more as I think of them, but by then they'll just be personal goals.

Blue Christmas

It's been about a month since I've written a blog, so I'd say it's about time we do this again. I've been home for about two weeks and they've been going so slowly! Today is Christmas, and I've been waiting for it because it marks the halfway point to me getting back to Wooster. I got some nice gifts (my swing shoes still aren't here!), and I'm pretty happy with everything. Alyse and my mom had a fight (per usual) and I got bummed out, so that was the only negative thing.

I got a car finally!!! It's a dark green Mazda Protege. I love it. His name is Tommy like the green Power Ranger. I've had to do some fixin' up on him, but he's coming along. I paid $4000 for him and so far I've been very happy with him.

I got red lipstick for Christmas and it makes my teeth look kind of yellow, so I think I might whiten them before I go back to school (I say that now...ha).

I've been working at AE, and getting my discounts worth. I had 14+ hours this week. I'm going to be rich! Not.

I saw Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in concert with some swing friends. It was great :)

I really don't have much to talk about. It's been forever, but I guess I"ll just add some later. Yeah. K bye.

Brains brains brains

Lately I've been feeling like my brain isn't quite up to par where it used to be. I've been having headaches (which my mom attributes to not drinking enough water), and I haven't been doing so great grammatically when I speak. Like today I said "There is bubbles". I also noticed that when I play my flute, the right side of my face droops or something. It just looks weird, maybe it's bad form. I might just be imagining it all, and maybe it's just the fact that I'm in CSD courses and I'm learning about all of these things, but I'm not sure. I also felt depressed over break, but I think it's because I was hormonal and missed Gordon. I'm going to try to eat healthier, do brain stimulating things, and exercise more often. Hopefully I will feel that I'm back to where I was. I just started worrying that I've been adding on to brain damage by going head first into that cement block in 8th grade, riding the Millenium Force and blacking out, and inhaling helium amongst other things. I also started worrying about my hearing. I don't want to be a deaf SLP, but I think I'm overreacting. A lot!

I'm thinking of buying SLPish books that Dr. Furey has pulled out during class, like Bilingual Speech-Language Pathology. I'm interested :)

I need to start studying for finals now. Spanish is the doozy, and possibly Phonetics as well. Okay. Off to study now. I need a healthy brain to do well on finals!

Lonely turkey

This Thanksgiving break is horrible because I am so hormonal, and therefore, lonely and overreacting to things. I feel like Gordon is ignoring me or something, but really, I just need to give him a chance to miss me. I mean, I HAVE been trying to talk to him all the time. I just miss him a lot. I hope things aren't changing :( I think I'm going to plan something romantic for us, just to change things up a bit.

We're making pumpkin dump cake this year, it's going to be delicious. I get to work tomorrow too. I'm pretty excited. Hopefully I don't have to work on Sunday because that's when we're going to Mentor.

Okay, just updating, so I'll probably write more later. I can't wait to go back. I need a warm hug.

I now understand what they're talking about in Racism 101

Today, I felt what it is like to be discriminated against. My boyfriend's parents don't approve of our relationship because I don't call myself a Christian. Now I have nothing against his parents, and I would love for them to get to know me better and vis versa. The thing I don't understand is, shouldn't people who are already "Christians" take the hand of someone who doesn't know the light of God and show them the way, instead of discriminating against them. This was always what I was taught. I know that I don't affiliate myself with religion, but I do attend church every now and then. I will confess, I haven't felt religious since about 7th grade, my life was just turned around, and I'm not quite sure how or why. This in no way means that I'm not open for finding that part of me agian.

I completely broke down at hearing that I was not approved of. One of the highest wants of a girlfriend is for her boyfriends parents to like her. I am an open-minded, liberal person. I'm am open for learning new things. I have kind heart, a warm disposition, I'm very positive, and I always thought of myself as a great people person. I would like to know what makes me undesirable to a parent, besides the fact that I don't practice religion right now. I just can't describe my distraut feelings and my utter shock.

I know that religion is a big part of their lives, but I want to be too. That's tough competition.

I believe that if your child loves someone and they can express this to you, you should honor their hapiness, no matter that persons religion, affiliation, whatever. Maybe I will find God one day, or whatever. Maybe Gordon will be the one to show it to me. I would really love for him to be the one.

I'm just really let down, and I want this feeling off of my chest. It's killing me :(



I may end up writing more, depending on what I'm thinking the rest of the day/week/forever.