New blog is up!

Hey guys, I have my new blog up! I hope you all will follow it! It's great knowing that there are 4 people! lol. Here's the link :)

http://tkonandup.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

Last post of this blog.

I'm back at Woo!! I want to make another blog, just because that's how I work, but I didn't feel like doing it right this minute.

I wanted to express my current state of loneliness. Don't get me wrong, it's great to see my friends, but I am experiencing quite a depressing level of loneliness. I'm with my friends all of the time, but who would have thought that being near them, would make me feel so lonely. Not being around Gordon all of the time is hard to get used to. He's hanging with other friends, talking to other girls, and this is where the loneliness jumps in. I'm not jealous, just lonely. I keep using that word, and I'm sick of it. I really just need to get over it, but it's going to take some time. I'm going dancing on Saturday, so hopefully that will help me get over it quicker.

We moved into the house on Saturday. Our neighbors are kind of trashy. Needless to say, I don't think our house will have an "always unlocked" door this year. There is still a lot of unpacking to do, but Katie and I are mostly settled in. On the first night, my townie friend Chris came by to visit. It was really nice to see him, he's really fun. Hopefully I'll see him a lot this year.

I'm tired, I don't feel like writing much right now. I'm going to make a new blog later, I'm just not sure what to name it. Off to band in 45.

It don't mean a thing....

Since my past few weekends have been full of dancing, I've pretty much decided that I want to hone in on my personal style and perspective of swing/dancing. Yesterday, I went blues dancing in Strongsville with Nick, and he told me that I need to "get the East Coast out of my blues", which I completely agree with. I need to separate the two, since they are both different forms of dance. I also need to let myself be more loosey goosey, and do a better job following. All of this can just come with dancing whenever I can or want to. That's a plus about having Gordon live in the same house as me. We can run into each other and be like "hey, let's go in the kitchen and lindy for a bit". That would actually be really, really fun. I think I might watch a bunch of dance videos to help me figure some things out, I've also been reading some swing blogs. I mean, those are really the only two ways you can improve, watching and experimenting. I also need to dance with more people, people whose styles I'm not used to. I need to get comfortable, and then add some flirt. I'm excited to work on all of this! I do need to start stretching before I dance. I've been waking up with aching calves and arms....lame!

Friday, Katie, Kyle, Nick and I went to the Lakewood Masonic Temple to dance. It was so hot in there, I almost died. I got all flushed, sweat more than ever, and I had tightness in my chest. It was probably not the smartest idea to keep on dancing. Over all though, it was entirely too fun :)

This guy, Tristan, was at the Strongsville dance. I initially met him at the Wooster dance and realized he was an awesome dancer and that I had to dance with him. Turns out I never had the chance to dance with him that night, but last night he asked me to dance! I told him I had seen him at Wooster and then he realized who I was and said that he had meant to dance with me but never got to it. I told him I really wanted to lindy with him, so he said we would next time we saw each other. We had a lot of fun dancing! I hope to see him more often at events, he's really nice, funny, cute, and tall :) He was encouraging me to go to some lindy exchanges, but I'd really have to work that out, since there aren't any that are going to be very close anytime soon.

For once, I'm in no mood to pack. Maybe it's because it's so hot out and I haven't been getting much sleep. There are six days until I go back to Woo! Packing is a must! I'm getting a lot of work hours in for this paycheck, so I'm excited. Tommy got some new sway links, so he no longer creaks! Now he just needs a good wash and vaccuum before I go back. I still haven't seen Inception. I'm kind of bummed. Looks like I'll need to start a new blog soon, for junior year!

If I think of more later, I will write it. Goodbye!

Esta noche, bailamos!

Last weekend, I had what I declared as the sweatiest weekend of my life. It started out on Thursday, I went to Youngstown with Nick P to go swing/blues dancing. It was one of the best nights out dancing that I've had. It was in a little bar on the nice side of town, and the people are so inviting. It was DJ'd, but nevertheless, it was fun. The blues dancing was very sensual, and as I told Nick, it's much more enjoyable when you're single. I felt so sexy and very confident with my dancing. Let's just say I became addicted to blues dancing. I came out of there feeling so refreshed and so liberated that the next morning I hit the "single" button on Facebook.

Friday night Kelley, Steve and I went to The Maine concert at Peabody's. It was SO HOT in there. There were so many 15 year old girls packed in there. I must say, I love The Maine, but I hate their fan base. We got so hot before the opening bands even came on, so we just went to the bar, bought some water and hydrated. The concert itself was awesome. Before the bands came on, Peabody's was playing The Black Keys, who I absolutely love. The very first opening act's name was Austin Gibbs and he was really cool. I downloaded one of his songs. The next band was pretty boring, but then The Maine came on and all was good. They played all of my favorite songs, John O was really funny and nice. He helped people get out of the room when they were fainting, haha. I mean it, like eight people had to exit by way of the stage because it was so hot. In the end, the concert was a success.

Saturday morning there was swing dancing at the zoo. Supposedly there were two waves of dancing, but we were misled. By the time Stephen and I got there at 10 am, the band had packed up. We danced to one song from a computer, then just walked around the zoo for a little while. That night was The Bohemian swing dance. I had a full car because Paul was in town, along with Katie's cousin Jill, and Kyle wanted to go. We got there around 9 and it was a lot of fun. I didn't dance as much as I thought I would, but it was enjoyable. Afterward was late night blues at Mineh's house in Cleveland Heights. This is where the trouble started. I had to drive back to Parma to take my carload home, then drive back to Cleveland Heights. It wasn't too troublesome, just a long car ride in Cleveland by myself. Late night blues was awesome. I will for sure be going back to that again.

After that weekend, I felt like I was in such good shape. I think I'm going to try to use dancing as my work out routine this school year.

This past week has been, odd. I've been feeling very lonely (relationship-wise), and kind of bored with my normal routine. I've had this urge to just hang out with Nick P, but it's not like I'm crushing on him (I think....I hope). I just want to hang out and be silly. I'm hoping we can find time to hang out before I go back to school, but whatever. I keep thinking about him, but I think it's just because I'm lonely....really, that's all it is. There's not much else to talk about. My emotional state has just been really up and down. I think I'm completely over Gordon and flowing very gracefully into friendship.

15 more days till Wooster! I'm so excited. I love Wooster so much. I love my major and my minor. I'm so enamored with my life.

I'm getting more hours at work this next couple of weeks than I have all summer. Bad thing is I have to go in at 6 am on Sunday to do floor sets. Eek!

That's about all for now. If I remember anything, I'll come back.

P.S. I'm reading Eat Pray Love, and it is really good for me. It's such an uplifting book. It makes me want to travel to Spain.

Happy Shark Week!

Chill and Flow, redefined

I got back from vacation at Maumee Bay this weekend. It was a very relaxing weekend, aside from the fact that I got sick one of the days :( I swam almost every day and got a nice tan. I am quite satisfied with the way it went. We didn't go many places, just the Henry Ford Museum and the Toledo Zoo, but that is okay with me.

(The Wiener Mobile! Built in Wooster!!)

The night before we left for vacation, I went swing dancing in Lakewood. It was a much smaller venue, but it was nice. I only went for about an hour, yet it was exactly what I needed. A good slow lindy and a crazy Nick Pancakes dance was so therapeutic to my aching heart. We're going to the Bohemian next weekend, Paul will be here, and I'm just really excited.

So, the past couple of days have really gotten me thinking. I realized that I had been dwelling on trying to find another guy, that I never really gave myself time to get over Gordon and just BE SINGLE! This revelation threw me into a completely different mindset, yet still "chill and flow" like I thought I already had been. Talking to some of my more religious friends, hearing them say "God has a plan" made me decide that I don't need to work as hard as I was to get what I want. If God has a plan, then that's that; yet I believe that if He has a plan, you need to set it in motion and get it going, but not search for it. Let it come to you, then go with it (chill and flow).

This mindset really set into me this morning after my bike ride. I just felt so rejuvenated and free. I think it also comes with maturity and self-confidence. I'm not sure why, but I feel so good right now. I also decided that I think I want to stay in Cleveland for the rest of my life. I've picked up the Cleveland pride that I've been reading about a lot lately, and I like it.

Gordon and I talk every now and then. It's usually about a 7 day span. I might try to stretch it out to go along with my own philosophy that I used to share with people about not talking to the ex for a while after you break up. Though I feel our situation is different since we're sliding so very well into the "just friends" category (or so I think). He called me today to thank me for setting him straight when he had done wrong, which was nice.

Work is going well. I only get about one or two days a week which isn't good for money matters, but I got a free bra the other day and tomorrow I'll get a free body spray! The perks of working retail.

I'm already antsy about getting back to school, but there's so much more money to be made, and fun things to be done before that. I want to start going through my stuff, but I'm going to try to hold off for another 2 or 3 weeks. I need to go to Cedar Point and a couple of Tribe games before the end of my summer. I think I shall plan some fun things for my friends :)

I feel like watching "Rebel Without a Cause" right now, so I think I'm going to go do that. More updates later!

I am blessed

Today, Gordon called and apologized to me.

He had gone to a seminar about forgiveness, and felt that it was a sign from God to call me to apologize and ask for my forgiveness (which he received).

That call was the most refreshing eleven minutes of my life. He apologized thoroughly for lying to me, never really filling me in, and basically playing with my emotions. I'm a very forgiving person, so I had basically already forgiven him, but this formal apology really showed me how sorry he truly was. Then we prayed together. Well, he prayed, and I was on the phone agreeing with every single thing he said. I cried, but they were tears of joy, happiness, relief. It also helped the idea grow in me that we'll be really good friends, kind of like the "Ryan and me" situation.

Who knows if we'll ever be together again. He's leaving it up to God, and I'll follow his lead. I guess we'll both try to move on, but apparently God doesn't want him in a relationship right now. As long as we're a big part of each other's lives, friendship-wise, I'm sure everything will flow out fine this year. I'm even feeling better about him finding someone else.

I told Shane about all of this, and he referred me to a song by Casting Crowns called "Who Am I". I listened to it, and it helped me figure out my rushing emotions. Shane said the emotions I was feeling, and still am, could probably be referred to as "blessed", and I've never actually felt this way. I hope to feel like this a lot more often in my life, and I'm pretty sure I will.

Here's the chorus from the song, I really liked it:

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Woo! And not Wooster.

I think I've decided what would help me get over my slump.

I want to be wooed! I want a good ol' fashion, classic wooing. I want to dress up, go out to eat at a jazz cafe, receive flowers, dance a little bit. I know this is asking a lot, but that would probably be the best situation ever! I don't want to meet a guy and start making out (maybe on vacation), I want it to be a fun, flirty relationship. Whispering, flirting with the eyes, yeah. I can't even write any more of what I want because I feel like I'll be asking way too much.

I can't wait to go out swing dancing....but it's almost a month away! Grrr I want to go now!

Woo me!