Brains brains brains

Lately I've been feeling like my brain isn't quite up to par where it used to be. I've been having headaches (which my mom attributes to not drinking enough water), and I haven't been doing so great grammatically when I speak. Like today I said "There is bubbles". I also noticed that when I play my flute, the right side of my face droops or something. It just looks weird, maybe it's bad form. I might just be imagining it all, and maybe it's just the fact that I'm in CSD courses and I'm learning about all of these things, but I'm not sure. I also felt depressed over break, but I think it's because I was hormonal and missed Gordon. I'm going to try to eat healthier, do brain stimulating things, and exercise more often. Hopefully I will feel that I'm back to where I was. I just started worrying that I've been adding on to brain damage by going head first into that cement block in 8th grade, riding the Millenium Force and blacking out, and inhaling helium amongst other things. I also started worrying about my hearing. I don't want to be a deaf SLP, but I think I'm overreacting. A lot!

I'm thinking of buying SLPish books that Dr. Furey has pulled out during class, like Bilingual Speech-Language Pathology. I'm interested :)

I need to start studying for finals now. Spanish is the doozy, and possibly Phonetics as well. Okay. Off to study now. I need a healthy brain to do well on finals!

Lonely turkey

This Thanksgiving break is horrible because I am so hormonal, and therefore, lonely and overreacting to things. I feel like Gordon is ignoring me or something, but really, I just need to give him a chance to miss me. I mean, I HAVE been trying to talk to him all the time. I just miss him a lot. I hope things aren't changing :( I think I'm going to plan something romantic for us, just to change things up a bit.

We're making pumpkin dump cake this year, it's going to be delicious. I get to work tomorrow too. I'm pretty excited. Hopefully I don't have to work on Sunday because that's when we're going to Mentor.

Okay, just updating, so I'll probably write more later. I can't wait to go back. I need a warm hug.

I now understand what they're talking about in Racism 101

Today, I felt what it is like to be discriminated against. My boyfriend's parents don't approve of our relationship because I don't call myself a Christian. Now I have nothing against his parents, and I would love for them to get to know me better and vis versa. The thing I don't understand is, shouldn't people who are already "Christians" take the hand of someone who doesn't know the light of God and show them the way, instead of discriminating against them. This was always what I was taught. I know that I don't affiliate myself with religion, but I do attend church every now and then. I will confess, I haven't felt religious since about 7th grade, my life was just turned around, and I'm not quite sure how or why. This in no way means that I'm not open for finding that part of me agian.

I completely broke down at hearing that I was not approved of. One of the highest wants of a girlfriend is for her boyfriends parents to like her. I am an open-minded, liberal person. I'm am open for learning new things. I have kind heart, a warm disposition, I'm very positive, and I always thought of myself as a great people person. I would like to know what makes me undesirable to a parent, besides the fact that I don't practice religion right now. I just can't describe my distraut feelings and my utter shock.

I know that religion is a big part of their lives, but I want to be too. That's tough competition.

I believe that if your child loves someone and they can express this to you, you should honor their hapiness, no matter that persons religion, affiliation, whatever. Maybe I will find God one day, or whatever. Maybe Gordon will be the one to show it to me. I would really love for him to be the one.

I'm just really let down, and I want this feeling off of my chest. It's killing me :(



I may end up writing more, depending on what I'm thinking the rest of the day/week/forever.

No voy a ir al Espana

So I've decided that I'm not going to study abroad next year. My heart isn't really in it and I keep feeling like I'll miss things. Plus, I think I'd rather go to a foreign country for about 2 weeks rather than 5 months. I would love to travel somewhere like Spain, but the time is just too much for me.

One downside is that I won't be able to work on my Spanish fluency as well as if I had gone. I'm going to try to live in the Spanish suite in Luce next year so I can try to up my fluency. Apparently there are some grad schools that give bilingual SLP's free rides and such. Most of them are out west. Hey, Gordon lives out west ;) haha, but I'm not going to base my future off of him. That makes me seem dependent and he doesn't like thinking about the future.

So yeah, I was just doing my Spanish homework and listening to Spanish music and I felt like making my decision about study abroad. I get to do Zumba tomorrow though! I ordered my own Zumba dvd so I don't have to keep borrowing Eva's. I'm excited. Hopefully I'll get really good at it.

I'm trying to be really diligent lately, I got my first A on a test in college! My professor asked me what I did differently. I really don't know. I just need to be more diligent about studying and really focus, especially on Spanish.

I had my advisor meeting the other day. Looks like I have only one CSD class next semester. Kind of sad, but I'm running out of them anyway. It's clinic, and I'll actually have a cute little kid to work with. Hopefully it's the absolutely adorable Asian one :)

That's all for now.

The Eagle has landed!

Much has evolved since my last blog! Gordon and I celebrated our One year anniversary on the 21st of October. Can you believe it?! A year! I'm very happy and I see this going on for a while. There were no flowers, he didn't even think of it and he felt bad, so I'm guessing there may be some in the near future...hopefully! It's okay, I still love him.

In other news, I got a job! It's at American Eagle and I get a great employee discount :) And since I have a job, I need to get a car, so I'm working on getting a Mazda Protoge, and it's only got 58,000 miles on it! Hopefully I can get ahold of it. I had my orientation today, and I think I'm going to do very well at my job. Plus it was great because I got to try and jeans and get paid for it!

Last night was Halloween and we went swing dancing (duh!). I was a sailor, and there were many funny characters there. I had a lot of fun and I stayed away from the creepers. Speaking of swing dancing, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy is coming to Cleveland, but it's on December 15th, and Gordon will be in far away Cali. Katie will only go with me if I get free tickets, so hopefully that goes through.

I have an 8 page term paper to write for Racism. I chose to write about Ebonics, since it has to do with language, and that's what I do haha.

We had a fun picture taking day outside the other day. It was really nice out, and I found the prettiest orange colored tree outside of Holden Annex, so Katie, Gordon, and I went and had a photo shoot. It was fun. Then yesterday, Gordon and I went downtown just because. It was nice :)

Registering for classes is coming up. I'm not completely sure what I'm taking yet, but it will be up as soon as I know. I wish I could take Spanish phonology, but I have to take this one course first. Lame, plus it's only in the fall. Whatevs.

I've been trying to get my GPA up from last years 2.6 so that I can more easily get into grad school and so I can get cheaper car insurance. I got a C on my phonetics exam which makes me sad because it brought my grade down, plus I thought I was good at Phonetics :( I've yet to see what I got on my Intro to CSD exam, plus on my Spanish quiz.

Apparently my Aunt Chris is taking in a foster child who is a crack baby. It's a great thing for her to do, but with two pre-school/kindergarden aged children, and two teenagers, I think she's going to be a bit over her head. I'm just going to reccomend speech therapy for the kid since most babies with backgrounds like that need therapy.

I wish I had more to talk about, but I really don't. My life is kind of boring. H1N1 shot on Wednesday!! And I'm going to go watch "Clerks" at Gordon's in twenty minutes, plus I need to work on my Ebonics outline.